They may see your good...

These past few days, I've been reading through 1 Peter. I found so much inspiration for living this life as a Christian in these chapters, but one scripture that struck me most is 1 Peter 2:12. It reads:

"Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day He visits us."

It made me think of the example God calls us to be to the darkness in the world. I remember my days in the darkness, and now that I am stepping in the light I can't understand 

why anyone would want to stay in the dark. Do they stay there because it is comfortable? Because they fear disciplining their selfish nature as if it is too strong to go against? Oh if only they knew that God has the power to conquer the evil and bitterness in their hearts. They don't have to face it alone. God never intended His people to succumb to Satan's deals. If only people would call on the Lord and ask for help. Why do they not want help? God wouldn't back-stab them; He wouldn't help them out of their hole only to push them back in with laughter. God is loving, nurturing, and trustworthy as every father on earth should be to their children. He is the ultimate Father. Stop pushing His strength from your side, He keeps you balanced.

1 Peter 2: 8-10 reads:

"They stumble because they disobey the message -- which is also what they were destined for. But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy."

I am proud to be a part of God's people. No one can take that away from me. Insults may be hurled at me but I will not retaliate as Jesus did not retaliate on the cross. He followed through with His plan. So I shall follow through and follow his example.

Facing the Giants

This past Sunday in Sunday School, we covered Numbers 13 and 14, but mostly Numbers 13:30-33. Its the part where Moses had sent 10 men, one from each tribe, to scout out Canaan. Only 2 of the 10 believed in God and His power to over come the giants in that land. The other 8 relied on their own skill and control. And at the mention of their own need to control and unbelief, I was struck. I have the same problem as those 8 men, but I didn't want to believe it. I saw how those men were so self-centered and not God-centered. I don't want to be that way. I don't want a pivotal part of history to happen again. Weren't those 40 years of wandering enough?

The Sunday School leader brought up the fact that God never promised a conflict free world. Giants will always be in our paths, but God has a plan to use us to overcome them. Joshua and Caleb saw the giants that filled the land of Canan, but they trusted in the Lord that if His will be done, then they were to go into the land and God would take care of the rest.

I talked to my mom this morning and she told me of how David threw the stone into Goliath's head. The natural law of physics says Goliath should have fallen backward wit

h the impact of the stone from the front, BUT Goliath didn't fall backwards in the Bible. He fell forward, proving God killed Goliath. David just had to throw the stone for God to use it, and to ultimately test David's faith.

I want to be like David, Joshua, and Caleb. I want to trust in the Lord with all my heart, mind, soul and strength. We must face the giants with faith in the Lord, and He will protect us and guide us.

When at e-camps, I was able to take pictures of the recs, including Sliding Rock and Turtleback Falls. Those both deal with natural water, which I happen to not ever swim, sit, or even be around. I wish I had read these passages and had these discussions before I went. I missed out on a faith-filled experience. It shocked me that these children would have enough courage to jump off rocks and slide into freezing water. 

That would be a giant for me. But I guess sometimes you have to step out in faith, take a plunge, and let God do His work.

Dog Days of Summer

Literally. For 10 days, I'm taking care of my best friend's dog at their house. For 5 of those days I'll also take care of their neighbors' 2 dogs. So all my time is spent taking care of these dogs, well not all of the time. There's a bunch of watching TV, eating my favorite foods, taking pictures, and random cleaning. So, its not so bad. 

I got some cool pictures this morning with the sun rising and the wet dew on the grass. The dog did not want to walk in the wet grass...not even to go to the bathroom. So, as I was standing outside waiting for her to walk into the grass....I saw the light coming through the leaves of the trees I thought were going to crash down on me a couple nights before. But they were sturdy and secure. God is the one who secures our roots, and we should in return light up with his love so that all may see. Not many people notice the light coming through leaves or the dew lighting up on the ground. So, tomorrow morning look for the beauty of God's light and it should make you smile like it made me.

ECAMPS

It is so hard for me to put my experience at e-camps into words. But I'll try. It had to have been one of the hardest weeks for me spiritually ever. 

The day before camp started, I was really trying to stop worrying about life outside the camp. To give it to God and let him take care of everything. But you see, I have this problem with control. I have had this problem most of my life; I don't know for certain how it began but I know that it has hindered me greatly. Camp was amazing, don't get me wrong. I loved it. But I was so vulnerable to the spiritual warfare that was encompassing the entire campus. I tried so hard to meet expectations that probably weren't even set by people other than myself.  

I wanted to take the best pictures; I wanted to capture the most tender moments. But, sometimes I wish I didn't have such an awesome zoom because I saw the faces of the campers in my viewfinder. I saw the look in their eyes, the same look I had a year or more before. My eyes were open... my contacts were even drying out because I wouldn't close them, I didn't want to miss the moment. I was completely open. After capturing Tuesday night's salvation experience Mark Harris' sermon on the cross brought, I was ready to give total worship to God. I was amazed at so many hands that flew up, reaching toward Him during the songs. I must have taken 300 or more pictures during that service, and they were all engraved on my heart. My heart was overwhelmed to say the least. Wednesday night came around and I had the hardest time holding back tears. There was a heavy burden on my chest I didn't know was there, and I barely made it through the time the staff had to pray over the worship building before I ran outside to sit by myself and basically hyperventilate. I couldn't walk let alone take pictures of the beginning songs. I had lost all control over my body which scared me even further to hyperventilation. 

Something inside me told me to get up and go take pictures. Jay was about to be taken in a coffin to the stage because he was going to preach on the resurrection and the reason for the cross. I would not let myself miss the pictures needed. So I came in, shaky as ever, and did what I was supposed to do. Thank the Lord the music was loud because I'm sure people heard me bawling my eyes out over the heavy burden on my heart. By the time the sermon ended...I knew I needed to stop worrying over the pictures I wanted to take and just praise Him for the lives He was saving. I let it go. I felt the most wonderful feeling I've ever felt: total release. The literal burden was lifted off my chest by God alone. 

That was what made camp so amazing. The lives of students were saved and I had felt total freedom from all burdens I thought I had let God take, but hadn't because of the need for control.

I am still learning to let go everyday. All I have to do is look at the picture above and remember the total freedom I felt before.

These words don't give God enough justice. So I must let my life be the evidence.

Codie the miracle kitten

Not many people know the story of Codie, my precious cat. She was born nearly 5 years years ago (September) with 4 other kittens. She is the only one that survived. We had no idea what was wrong with that litter but they all seemed to die off, their mother didn't want to take care of them because she knew there was something wrong with them. But we cared too much to let them go. It got down to Betsy and Codie. While Besty was very weak and her mother had abandoned her, Codie was healthy and her mother fed her regularly. We tried to feed Betsy sugar water and egg yokes as it said to on the internet but during the night she died. She had lived to be 2-3 weeks. Codie was the only one left. 

The kittens' struggle to stay alive reminds me of how we can disappoint God. We struggle with sin, not letting God's love be enough like the sugar water was not enough for Betsy. God holds, feeds and loves us, but it goes unnoticed most of the time. Satan wants us to think God abandons us when we have struggles like the mother cat abandoned her kittens when things got too hard for her. God never abandons us. We must all remember that.  

God is good minus an "O"

God is so good! Let me tell you why...

Near the end of my senior year of high school God made it apparent that I was to be a photographer. Before I knew, I thought I was going to attend a private southern ivy-league college to study memory science. But, He wants me to show the world my view of their troubles and the hope I had found in the midst of chaos through photography. But...Photography is a very competitive field and if you know me then you know that I'm not aggressive at all unless I absolutely positively have to be, so I knew I'd either have to gain confidence or let God take care of it. But, giving up control is not an easy thing for me either. I'm still learning to hand it over.

He definitely has taken care of me, for God is the ultimate provider. I was eligible for the work-study program at Appalachian State which gives $1,800 toward my tuition and an hourly pay. I signed up for it not knowing what it would be like. I went to my first day of work and found out God had placed me under the University Photographer's care. I was to get paid to soak up his knowledge and learn skills my fellow photography majors weren't going to know for a few more semesters. In return, I would have the opportunity to make connections with people already successful in the business and gain the confidence I needed. So, you see! God is so good. I know for sure that He wants me to be a photographer and attend Appalachian State.

Praise Him! 

(I took this photo on one of my last days of work)

Exposed

After November 15, 2006, I became a completely new person. It all began one chilly Wednesday night outside First Baptist's gym. I was sitting on the edge of the prickly stone wall of a flower bed, underneath a streetlight. The world seemed to stand still and my heart was beating extremely fast, as if something inside me wanted to take off like a helicopter: my sin wanted to flee; the walls protecting my heart wanted to shut. But, I sat there, for once in my life, with my heart open and ready to be transformed. The youth pastor I had only heard preach a few times knelt in front of me. He asked me to pray one simple prayer out loud. My mouth opened but my throat had closed; it was such a hard task to make myself speak. I opened my heart even more and my throat reluctantly opened. I prayed, and He took over everything else. I was changed. I physically looked different, which can be proven from looking at photos of before and after November 15, 2006. I was "on cloud nine". Nothing seemed impossible anymore... no more limits. Such an odd feeling for me, almost too scary. The walls came down for good. Everything before November 15th were my negatives, but since He exposed me in His light, I may develop through His grace, be washed clean from sin, and wonderfully prepared to be His beautiful picture.    

(Taken right before I was baptized on January 21, 2007)